Who wears a wallet chain?!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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