Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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