her vagine was all disorganized.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
