I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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