Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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