so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
