oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I don't deserve a penis
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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