She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
