porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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