I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
