Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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