Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
