No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
