you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
