Your face is a jimmy john
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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