I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
