Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
