help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Randomize
