:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
