I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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