stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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