dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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