I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
