never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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