Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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