I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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