There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
