So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
