high people should be assigned attendants
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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