That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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