we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
