We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Randomize
