yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize