he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize