You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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