I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
