the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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