Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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