I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
