YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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