I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
