the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize