he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I would ride that face into the sunset
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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