Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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