Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
