Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
