We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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