There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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