"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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