we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
