kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
