11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize