You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
