Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
