Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
