dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
