I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize