i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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