..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
