booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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