He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
