Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize