Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize