tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
