if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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