i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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