there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I had to cum in my sink.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
