He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
